Tuesday, April 9, 2013

30d30w: word nine

 
birthday  
 
secret whistles
fiery code
nothing happy
wrapping hides
 
I'm backing off the punctuation, etc. for today--yesterday's v.1 and v.2 got about equal votes--and focusing on the word instead.  I've chosen Linda's hides because there are still quite a few days and words to go and it doesn't seem time yet to reveal any surprises.  I also like the way "hides" fits into a rhythm that just reading the two-word lines creates, and the h of "hides" together with the h of "happy."
 
I did wish there was a word that combined the senses of crinkling and hiding--I think the poem could benefit now from some more "sensory details," as we say in the classroom.


13 comments:

Thanks for joining in the wild rumpus!