I've tackled this challenge before with the Inklings critique group and it was challenging indeed, but I came up with something that I was proud of (and which therefore is redacted from the post so I can submit it elsewhere). But luckily for busy me, I found another attempt in my notes which also looks pretty good. It even touches on the Sisters' theme of transformation.
So here, in cheater-pants fashion because I have a MANUSCRIPT to finish, is a ghazal I wrote during the last trying days of PreK before the COVID-19 shutdown. The group of kids I had were unlike any group of 4's I've known, and in a way, the break in the routine of distress behavior and the switch to online school was a good thing. It certainly saved my psychological bacon!
And how are you doing with that, folks? I'm realizing that this might be at the heart of what we keep calling "self-care"--not to take care of ourselves in addition to everything else we are doing and which leads to the distress in the first place, but to ASK FOR WHAT WE NEED, giving others the responsibility and the opportunity to carry some of the load in a way that actually helps. (As a teacher, for me that's never treats in my mailbox but a note acknowledging something hard or helpful that I'm doing.)
Ghazal-wise, this poem doesn't exactly follow the rules. Each stanza is not "structurally, thematically, and emotionally autonomous," and I did get a little carried away with the rhyme scheme...but I'm sticking with this beyond-the-bandaid poem.
Thanks to our host today, Patricia at Reverie--go guzzle all the ghazals!
Since I, too, dusted off a draft from the Inklings' try at ghazals, I do not see this a cheater-pants in any way, shape, or form. Plus, it is a good reminder. I like the "Have you learned it yet?" and "Pause and feel it." Repetition is important for the littles and for those who are learning to practice self-care!
ReplyDeleteOh man, asking for what we need! Why is it so hard sometimes?? I guess because it means being so very vulnerable...This is a poem not just for the wee ones, my friend. Thank you! xo
ReplyDeletep.s. YES TO FINISHING YOUR MANUSCRIPT. Exciting!!
ReplyDeleteGlad to have you back. I love your ghazal, Heidi, and shared it with a teacher. It's wonderful, foundational advice for any parent to share with a child.
ReplyDeleteCousin, keep that attitude about putting you and your manuscript first. That's not cheater-pants, that's a necessity. (I'm so excited for you! Write on!) Here's to getting what you need in this and any other venture. ♥
ReplyDeleteMe thinks the ghazal works really well when dealing with 4yr olds who need the repetition (and the change up in meter) to get their attention and solidify their learning! Definitely will pass this along to my kinder-teaching sister!
ReplyDeleteI love it!
ReplyDeleteI don't know why it won't let me comment as me -- it's Ruth (thereisnosuchthingasagodforsakentown.blogspot.com).
ReplyDeleteIt's exciting to read you have a manuscript to finish, Heidi, and learning about that asking is a big thing, shown well in your poem. When the young ones have learned crying helps, that's what they do, until new learning! Have a lovely weekend!
ReplyDeleteOh, I love those last two couplets so much! Yay, Heidi! And it's not cheating :>)
ReplyDeleteThis is an amazing ghazal. Wow. I think of this form as very fussy and for experienced poets. But, you brought this right to younger readers. Bravo! Self-care works if you get response...right now I am the only one responding to what I need. I take that back, my family is giving me space at home. But, hoo boy...that working world is tough these days. I'm glad for the day tomorrow. In addition to remembering the day and the reason for it, I will rest.
ReplyDeleteI agree with others who mentioned how well the repetition works for young kids. The whole poem is so kid-friendly. Thanks for sharing and good luck with your manuscript.
ReplyDeleteAsking for what you need is an important skill for all and a good message for little ones in your ghazal, which I'm sure wasn't easy to write. Thanks, Heidi!
ReplyDeleteThis is in no way a cheat. Also, it makes me cry a little.
ReplyDeleteHeidi, I can identify with your poem. My 3-year-old grandgirl at times wants to be considered a baby and at other times she is strikingly independent. I can imagine how your 4-year-olds acted. You captured the pre-school child and I love the ending about yourself. Self-care is important. It is great news that you are working on a manuscript.
ReplyDeleteNothing cheater-y about it and asking for what we need is an evergreen theme. :) Thanks, Heidi!
ReplyDelete