I've been doing a lot of writing for my adult self lately, and while that's going well (in the sense of being challenging and revealing and effective), in reading for Cybils judging I have remembered that I also write for kids, supposedly. So that will be my focus this month.
sweeping the snow
swinging the broom swinging the broom
powder clouds and sprays
dragging the broom dragging the broom
white lines slide and stay
pounding the broom pounding the broom
lightness leaps away
spinning the broom spinning the broom
snowdust-flow ballet
draft (c) HM 2018
The round-up for this new year beginning is at Reading to the Core with Catherine, who's featuring the important book by Irene Latham and Charles Waters called Can I Touch Your Hair?
Oh, yes....spinning. That wonderful feeling of spinning and being the center of the spin. Why don't we do that more as adults? Is it because once were, "big" we bump into things? You took me right to spinning with a broom, spinning in a skirt, nightgown, stick, jump rope. Great memories.
ReplyDeleteI'm so happy you are going to be a kid again in January. But, you are pretty good as a grown up writer too ;)
Your post brings back memories of my time in NYC where I lived and worked for 6 years.Shovelling snow held much delight for we Australian expatriates. I liked the way your poem employed actions- swinging ,dragging, pounding, spinning to launch lines and you followed with nouns in the next line thus creating a pattern in your brief yet effective composition. Thanks for your words and thanks for evoking sweet memories. Incidentally, today it will reach temperatures of 106 degrees here in Melbourne while the US freezes. Such contrasts.
ReplyDeleteOh the broom ballet! Yes indeed you write for kids, not just supposedly. Keep going! xo
ReplyDeleteI feel the movement in the sweeping
ReplyDeleteLove the image of the broom ballet.
Oh, this is so much fun, Heidi! I love all those verbs and that "snowdust-flow ballet" is perfect.
ReplyDeleteLove that last line. Such a fun one.Happy shoveling!
ReplyDeleteThis is such a fun, active poem. I'm going to try to channel it when I'm shoveling snow. Perhaps it will make it a bit more enjoyable if I can infuse it with childlike wonder :)
ReplyDeleteYou are such a master at word play! I love snowdust-flow ballet.
ReplyDeleteLove the playfulness of this poem! (With a broom like that, play is just about all you'd get done!!)
ReplyDeleteSnowdust-flow ballet, indeed! Our neighbors often tease us that a broom is part of our snow removal equipment that lives on our porch every winter. It's an amazing tool -- windows, car roofs, hard to reach spots, and the like. It's also fun to play with! :-)
ReplyDeleteYou may think it's for kids, but I am that snow-sweeper, Heidi! One can do many wonderful things with snow and a broom, and you've caught that magic! Love it!
ReplyDeleteHeidi, this is such a delightful poem, especially for this time of year. You remind me to bring out my broom for snow removal on my porch. The various motions are simple actions with amazing word play that leads to the ending line that I just love. Children and adults will love this poem. I can't wait to see how you finalize it. For now, I think the piece has great flow and allows for visualization. Thanks for sharing with us.
ReplyDeleteOh, to have snow in an amount small enough to sweep! Your poem would make a fun action rhyme for little ones to perform.
ReplyDeleteSuch a fun poem. It makes me want to bundle up and play in the snow!
ReplyDeleteThe last line paints a picture for me,"spinning the broom spinning the broom
ReplyDeletesnowdust-flow ballet," and floats up into the air. I like the rhythm and movement in your poem too Heidi, thanks!
A snowy dance!Love it!
ReplyDelete