npm19: progressive poems lands here

Welcome to all, especially those who are following this year's Kidlitosphere Progressive Poem, an annual April tradition begun in 2012 by Irene Latham of Live Your Poem.  One by one we bring a new line, developing the idea of the poem and spinning it in new directions. This year we're challenging ourselves to build a found poem out of song lines, as suggested on April 1 by our kickoff poet Matt Forrest Esenwine.  Read about this project and enjoy data on previous progressive poems HERE.

Well.  I had been planning to pump up the action with some B-52's beachiness here, but by the time the poem reached me, Amy and Linda had suddenly, interestingly, taken a different tack:

                                    "it's not easy to know
                                     less than one minute old"

"WHO, WHO, WHO?!" I shouted inwardly.  We've had an I, we've had a we, we've had a you, then another we, then an I, then a you again. But I wanted a line with we, you AND I together to the end, and I wanted a line with how--my thought was to find a line that would show that the relationship between these deep divers was new and untried (less than one minute old!), that it wouldn't be easy to know how the waltzing would go...

and the B-52's let me down!  I tried "Rock Lobster," "Nude Beach" and "Dry County," "Roam" and "Song for a Future Generation,"  "Dirty Back Roads" and "Deadbeat Club," and none of them produced exactly what I was looking for (although I did spend a tremendous hour or so reliving the extreme lunatical lyrical glory that is the B-52's).  Here's one I'd forgotten about, making me heartily wish I could work some cake into the scenario (you only need the middle 2-3 minutes of this 6-minute song to get the idea)...

So next I tried Natalie Merchant and the lovely "Milly and Molly and Maggie and May," which is an E.E. Cummings poem set to music, involves the ocean, and which also offers an ending assonance:

as small as a world and as large as alone

--which was cool, except that the emphasis was on small and alone, and still nothing happened. So then I tried Natalie's first outfit, 10,000 Maniacs, and an all-time favorite, "These Are Days," which gave me this line:

to be part of the miracles you see in every hour

--nice, but a little cheesy without its abundant context, and which again did not feel as active or forward-moving as I wanted. So I turned to that other great export of Athens, Georgia: R.E.M.  When you can figure out what Michael Stipe is singing (and sometimes even when you can't), you know it's definitely poetry.

I looked for some watery songs and and fell upon "Find the River," which is a folkier number of theirs and offered a line that didn't include its delicious "bergamot and vetiver" but which finally cements that WE and whizzes us along to the brink of something fabulous-- plus a rhyme. Plus "minute" and "years." Plus a light at the bottom of the deep? Please listen to this whole gorgeous song to get the full effect of the line!

KIDLITOSPHERE
PROGRESSIVE POEM 2019 - DAY 19

Endless summer; I can see for miles...
Fun, fun, fun - and the whole world smiles.
No time for school - just time to play,
we swim the laughin' sea each and every day.

You had only to rise, lean from your window,
the curtain opens on a portrait of today.
Kodachrome greens, dazzling blue,
It's the chance of a lifetime,

make it last forever-ready? Set? Let's Go!
Come, we'll take a walk, the sun is shining down,
Not a cloud in the sky got the sun in my eyes.
Tomorrow's here. It's called today.

Gonna get me a piece o' the sky.
I wanna fly like an eagle, to the sea
and there's a tiger in my veins.
Oh, won't you come with me waltzing the waves,
                                                                        diving the deep?
It's not easy to know
less than one minute old  
we're closer now than light years to go

************************************************

Gosh, I hope that gives Buffy something to go on! Below is the complete list of contributors and lines, and I close with mighty thanks to Irene for making this thang happen every year, and to Amy for hosting today at The Poem Farm.  Happy spring holy days to all to celebrate!

NEW!!! You asked for it and now it exists--THE PLAYLIST!

************************************************
Found Lines:
L1 The Who, 'I Can See for Miles' / The Beach Boys, 'Endless Summer'
L2 The Beach Boys, 'Fun, Fun, Fun'/Dean Martin, "When You're Smiling"
L3 The Jamies, "Summertime, Summertime'
L4 The Doors, 'Summer's Almost Gone' / Led Zeppelin, 'Good Times, Bad Times'
L5 Ray Bradbury, 'Dandelion Wine'
L6 Joni Mitchell, "Chelsea Morning"
L7 Paul Simon, "Kodachrome," "Dazzling Blue"
L8 Dan Fogelberg, "Run for the Roses"
L9 Spice Girls, "Wannabe"/Will Smith, "Gettin' Jiggy Wit It"
L10 The Beatles, "Good Day Sunshine"
L11 The Carpenters, "Top of the World"
L12 Lin-Manuel Miranda, "Underneath the Lovely London Sky" from MARY POPPINS
L13 Carole King, "Hi-de-ho (That Sweet Roll)"
L14 Steve Miller, "Fly Like An Eagle"
L15 Don Felder, "Wild Life"
L16 Nowlenn Leroy, "Song of the Sea" (lullaby)
L17 Sara Bareilles, "She Used to Be Mine" from WAITRESS
L18 Stevie Wonder, "Isn't She Lovely"
L19 R.E.M., "Find the River"

And you can see the list of Poem Line Contributors in the right sidebar!

taking your suggestions, please

This summer I'm working on a sweeping revision of last summer's project.  I'm now aiming at a teen audience, and one of its themes is identity.  Many of the poems will be set in the context of trying out different voices, perspectives, and even disguises, and so it seems like a good place to include some of the poems I've written as "copy tributes."  (I may have made up that label.)  Here's one that's working quite well; below you'll see what I'm hoping you can help with...

Stopping by Turtle on a Rainy Morning

Whose shell this is I think I know.

His head is under cover though;

He doesn’t want me stopping here

To watch him, crouching close and low.

I startled him along the path.

He wasn’t stepping very fast

Between the ferns and dripping weeds,

This wettest morning, for a bath.

He freezes, puts on all his brakes

And hopes that there is some mistake.

The only other sound’s the blink

Of careful notice that I make.

His shell is lovely, arched and dark,

But I can’t read his orange marks,

Our miles of difference, slight and stark,

Our miles of difference, slight and stark.

            Heidi Mordhorst 2013
                all rights reserved

So far the poems I've copy-tributed are classics by male poets.  I also need to include a couple by women--but which?  I can think of several Emily Dickinson ones that would work well, but what about a more modern classic American poet?  Which Lucille Clifton or Maya Angelou poem would you suggest?  Sylvia Plath? Dorothy Parker? They need to be widely recognizable, I think, for the "joke" to work.  (It's not really a joke at all, but I want literate MS and HS readers to realize that something is going on even before they get to the reference.)

Of course I could sit down and surround myself with all my anthologies for a hunt, but I thought it would be more fun to start by asking you what classic poems by women spoke to you in your teens (or later).  I'm sure you'll remind me of something obvious I've forgotten, or, as so often happens here, introduce me to something that somehow I've missed. 

Thanks, and turtle on over to Write Time for the round-up with Linda Kulp!

30d30w: word 29

birthday  

secret whistles,
fiery code…

                     nothing.
happy wrapping
hides the empty

         cage.

something whispers:

furry coat

                thumping

sniffing whiskers  

subtle wishes,

buried hope…
                surprise!

eyes paws ears   leap

finally

Golly.  When I first cut and pasted this from my worksheet doc, I had added lick from both Buffy and Laura S. as word 29--I'm a sucker for alliteration (and who among us ain't?).  But then, as Laura notes, that does rather limit the critter, since I can't picture anything leaping and licking except a dog. 

This became suddenly problematic, for I am not a dog person.  Now, I know that many (most?) people are dog people, but for the purposes of this poem--and bearing in mind that there are really VERY many dog poems--I suddenly decided that finally works better.  It captures all that whistling and whispering and wishing and hoping, and while typically one whistles for a dog, I can see someone whistling for a lost mouse or ferret or rabbit as well.

Early yesterday both Mary Lee and Daisy independently wondered the same way about "fiery code," and it's coming up in other comments too.  Let me tell you why that worked (and is still working) for me, although I may yet see the need to revise.  To me, the peak birthday moment is that moment when the candles are all lit and everyone is singing and you're gathering breath and putting your face right next to the undeniably dangerous flames and making your wish and knowing that a) you must not tell your wish and b) you must blow all the candles out at once and c) if there are those rules then there might be other rules, like how you encode your wish might actually matter.

For me, the poem begins in that moment, when the birthday child can think of nothing but the cage that has stood empty for days, and how the special whistle has not worked, and how encoding the wish exactly right in the blowing of that fiery, dramatic moment might do the trick...and then nothing.  The moment is over and the presents received, and no amount of happy wrapping can overcome the sadness of that empty cage.  Maybe "hides" is the problem?

I'd be very curious about how that first stanza reads to everyone else--I was sure that you'd be suggesting changes to "subtle wishes,/buried hope," since for me the energy seems to drop there and I'm not sure we're getting enough out of those words.  Last call for revisions!

And just one more time, may I say how much I'm loving this deep work at the word level?  And one more time, how much I appreciate those who have dropped in to play along? 

30d30w: word 28

birthday  

secret whistles,
fiery code…

                   nothing.
happy wrapping
hides the empty

        cage.

something whispers:

furry coat

                thumping

sniffing whiskers

subtle wishes,

buried hope…
                 surprise!

eyespawsears leap

Here's our patient little poem without the questions marks, just to try that out...and Margaret's suggestion yesterday narrows down the animal, so to speak.  With only two words left, its species will be left unspecified (which is all right by me--ambiguity in a poem is, I think, often what allows it to speak directly to a wide range of listeners).  However, I'll admit I'd been thinking bunny or smaller, and "leap" is more of a cat or dog word.  I also liked Janet's bound, but that would be an even bigger beast, I believe, and harder to lose.  Or hide.  : )

Here's an interesting question:  must word 29 be an adverb now?  Or, if we accept that Word 30 is "lap," what else might work? 

30d30w: word 27

birthday  

secret whistles,
fiery code…

                     nothing.
happy wrapping
hides the empty

        cage.  

something whispers…

furry coat?

thumping?
sniffing whiskers?  

subtle wishes,

buried hope…
                surprise!

eyespawsears

Poetry Friday was a packed party this week, I think--hard to get through the crowd to this corner of the universe!  Thanks to Margaret, Petrina and Janet for stopping by to keep things going.  Those ears are pretty important right now. 

I'm thinking about a happy lap for the last word, and again, on the 29th, instead of suggesting the last word, how about you advise me about one revision that would polish up this poem for its final appearance?

30d30w: word 26 and a special challenge

Flickr Creative Commons photo by Mykl Roventine

 
birthday  

secret whistles,
fiery code…

              nothing.
happy wrapping
hides the empty

        cage.

 

something whispers…

furry coat?

thumping?

sniffing whiskers?

 subtle wishes,

buried hope…
                surprise!

eyespaws

For those who are just tuning in, welcome to the 30days30words cumulative, collaborative poem! To keep things simple for busy people this National Poetry Month, I posted a single word on April 1 and each day have invited all comers to suggest the next word in the poem. We have continued like this throughout April, one word at a time, and are nearing the conclusion of a poem of surprising form and function.  Please do go back and see how the poem has evolved through the faithful contributions of around a dozen thoughtful, playful collaborators!

 

It seems we must literally leap towards the conclusion now. All in a rush now the beloved missing (or new) birthday creature will leap into the poem, eyespawsandall, and I think I'll be selecting the last word myself (I might even know what it is, but we'll see!).

So, dear players, I have a special challenge for you on April 29. Instead of suggesting the final word, I invite you to suggest a revision, an edit, a change that you believe will improve the whole poem. I've certainly felt at several points along the way that I may have made a misstep in my selections or formatting, or that my head overruled my heart or vice versa.  I bet YOU can help me and "birthday" finish with a flourish. Thank you!

 

30d30w: word 23

birthday 

secret whistles,
fiery code…

              nothing.
happy wrapping
hides the empty

         cage. 

something whispers…

furry coat?

thumping, sniffing?

whiskers! 

subtle wishes,

buried hope…

Wow, hope(s) got THREE votes yesterday!  As Joy says, "It's your poem; go for it," but it's our poem too, so I bow to the majority preference, though you see I had to singularize it to align it better with "code" and "coat."  However, if I may exert (again) a little editorial influence, after all that abstractness, the next word is going to need to be a nice, muscular, active gerund.  It's time to get this creature into the birthday hands!  Only seven more words left!

30w30d: word 19

birthday  

secret whistles,
fiery code…

              nothing.
happy wrapping
hides the empty

        cage. 

something whispers…

furry coat? thumping?

sniffing whiskers?

It was very kind of Amy to supply another set of whiskers, since Daisy was too busy watching Glee to even notice how apologetic I was about not choosing her word.  But now she's got what she wanted, and I've got what I need for the middle stanza, and we can now return to our regularly scheduled poem of organic integrity and authentic surprises.  I'm not entirely sure about the question marks--there could still be punctuational movement over the bridge...

In other news, after working all week to meet poems by Langston Hughes, Lilian Moore, Arnold Adoff and Beatrice Schenk de Regniers and learn what poets do, the Mighty Minnows will compose their own poems today!  I look forward to sharing these bonus poems over the weekend.

30d30w: word 18

birthday  

secret whistles,
fiery code…

              nothing.
happy wrapping
hides the empty

         cage. 

something whispers…

furry coat,

thumping,

sniffing

Naturally, because I overslept, today has been maybe the hardest yet.  My compulsions (previously detailed; thank you Tabatha for snappy) are battling my sense of sense, and also I'm getting pressure from within the organization to choose a certain contributor's word!  So I'm going to call this stanza a seven-word bridge, kinda like in a pop song, and send both thanks to Amy for sniffing and telepathic vibes to certain contributors to Keep Those Whiskers Coming.