Tuesday, April 16, 2013

30d30w: word 16



birthday  

secret whistles,
fiery code…
              nothing.
happy wrapping
hides the empty
         cage. 

something whispers—
furry coat,

As I do in my own composition (for better or worse), I've now settled the stanza length and pattern, and although this is free verse, I'm compelled to stick with it until the end.  Then, ordinarily, I'd do an immediate redraft allowing changes to the form which has developed organically.  In this case, I won't have the authority to revise like that, so it's all the more important to get it "right" the first time.  I thank you all for your suggestions, especially Savvy Wit and Verse visitors, and Matt and Daisy for nose and catch, which both had special merits, but I've gone with Tabatha's coat because of my matchy-match compulsion.  (Yes, it also drives my home decor and fashion choices, even though I'm aware that matchy-match is out.)

So we have a 6-line stanza with 11 words, times two is 22, leaving 8 words for some kind of concluding stanza?  Or we could alternate 6 lines/4 lines.  Hmmmmm....

7 comments:

  1. I'm imaging a cute puppy. Will you take two words? wet nose?

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  2. soft

    I love how this is shaping, Heidi.


    (Have been visiting a family with an older, but not too, chocolate lab and a new puppy.....older dog wants to love me up in a decidedly different way than in prior visits.."I'm cute, too" ...... and the puppy, well, he is all akimbo and warm and will attempt climb on me in a heartbeat if given the chance. But he gets put in his cagehouse. I am so getting into this doggie vibe now, but who knows.)

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  3. sweet. Thanks for using my furry. I feel so excited to see what happens next.

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