Tuesday, April 23, 2013

30d30w: word 23


birthday 

secret whistles,
fiery code…
              nothing.
happy wrapping
hides the empty
         cage. 

something whispers…
furry coat?
thumping, sniffing?
whiskers! 

subtle wishes,
buried hope…

Wow, hope(s) got THREE votes yesterday!  As Joy says, "It's your poem; go for it," but it's our poem too, so I bow to the majority preference, though you see I had to singularize it to align it better with "code" and "coat."  However, if I may exert (again) a little editorial influence, after all that abstractness, the next word is going to need to be a nice, muscular, active gerund.  It's time to get this creature into the birthday hands!  Only seven more words left!

8 comments:

  1. "Buried hope" is so sad. Instead of a gerund, I'd love to see a turn -- a transitional word to set up the end of the poem. How about SURPRISE!

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  2. Hmmmmm.... I'm kinda stumped. Good thing this is a group effort. :)

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