Saturday, April 27, 2013

30d30w: word 27

birthday  

secret whistles,
fiery code…
                     nothing.
happy wrapping
hides the empty
        cage.  

something whispers…
furry coat?
thumping?
sniffing whiskers?  

subtle wishes,
buried hope…
                surprise!
eyespawsears

Poetry Friday was a packed party this week, I think--hard to get through the crowd to this corner of the universe!  Thanks to Margaret, Petrina and Janet for stopping by to keep things going.  Those ears are pretty important right now. 

I'm thinking about a happy lap for the last word, and again, on the 29th, instead of suggesting the last word, how about you advise me about one revision that would polish up this poem for its final appearance?

5 comments:

  1. I sat with the poem for a little while. I agree the question marks are not necessary. I would break up eyes, paws, ears. I don't know if you will consider changing words but "fiery code" jumps out as a warning but stops the poem and eventually doesn't fit the theme.
    I suggest the next word be leap as in leap onto my lap.
    Thanks for the build a poem fun!

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  2. Sometimes it's hard not to give an entire line, Heidi! I suggest 'cheers', but really wish to write 'cheers through tears', or 'teary cheers'. It's becoming such a lovely, almost, ending.

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  3. appear

    arrive

    puppy

    squirming

    bound
    scamper

    Janet F.

    Trying to give you some choices. It is a beautiful day. So....this word and 3 more, right? I am pretty amazed at how you have made this happen, Heidi. And very curious how it will end.

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